I Need the Light

Summer or winter, I throw open the blinds and curtains. I want light like a sunflower standing tall in a garden.

When others think there’s enough light, I am looking for more, always looking.

Something about seeing. Something sacred about it.

Last week, I left a soft light burning all night in the dining room. I was aware of it from the bedroom, but once I connected it to peace, I just let it stay on.

Our country has so much unrest, and I forget to be thankful for the peace inside of me. For the most part, I do not walk around with troubled thoughts. The way I think is probably how I keep anxiety at bay. And writing words in a poem or journal creates calmness for me.

We have a terrier who sighs in her sleep and a lab who snores. Music to my ears. Peace like a lullaby, like light, like my husband remembering to kiss me goodnight.

I am grateful for the way God has the earth and moon revolving around the sun. What an idea! Such a gentle thing and there all the time. Ashamed to say I’m prone to forget it and take the light for granted.

One of our sons does not take it for granted. Though school is just starting back, he is taking his children out of school for one day to drive to Kansas City, where they hope to have the best view of the moon eclipsing the sun. Some might see this as nothing. He sees it as amazing!

Sun and moon: light during the day and light during the night.

Though we will not notice the stars at that hour, they are there and will witness a peaceful passing.

In the middle of the night, I turn on the light. It gives me peace. I can see where things are, where I am in relation to things, in relation to the faces around me.

Burdens are everywhere. When I feel tired or dull, I am weighed down by the darkness. My senses are impaired, and I struggle to sense the Spirit.

Physical and emotional burdens. We pick them up. We put them down. Eventually, we may see another option: we can hand them over to the bigger Light, the Spirit light.

I admit it. Sometimes, I’m even too tired to will myself to do that, so I turn away. Somehow, I need to see more, see better. How did Jesus do it? Before breaking loaves and giving to the crowd, he looked up toward heaven to focus, to see…. (Matt 14:19)

I’m sure I miss much of what passes before my eyes. I simply don’t see it. It helps me to talk to myself and God. Thank you's and praises are of the light and can break the darkness.

Blessings,

Pat Durmon

P.S. Please feel free to share and comment on this post.

Photo by Pat Durmon of the moon near Norfork, Arkansas, in the winter of 2006.